not a long trip, but its been a long time since ive blogged.
well. thats cause i hardly use the comp. but yeah.. anyway my dad's coming back again!! whoopee!! exciting!!! haha i love it whenever he comes back :)
feels more complete u know? :) anyway my batam trip with jess!
letme tell u.. HI LISA! ur photos are wonderful! u take such beautiful pics of the scenery! i bet its even prettier than reality. LOOK!!!



this is us on the deck of the ferry! enjoying the wonderful breeze :)
vania/dor/jess/me/fred


our last day goin back on the ferry! jess/me/dor/vania with a bag of some cuttlefish thing. hehe



and these pictures are just so pretty!!! u wont believe it..



look at the ripples! nature created by God.. its like molton gold..



and this looks like its taken from under some bridge. but no its not


its from inside the ferry. n those are the windows. sneaky!!
haha so thats my wonderful trip!

n i met up with ling n loo in town yest to 'study'. which evidently did not materialise but anyway..

ling/me

ooh i cant wait to take by braces off. hopefully 20th baby!

n the three of us!!
 why is this so small..

oh well. i think this is a sufficiently long blog! though its mostly pics! but again.. they are SO GORGEOUS!!! thanks so much lisa. :) n i love church camps! n i love life now.. despite the studying.. i love fruity drinks! n i love... aircon. haha n everyone who loves me, most importantly n especially Jesus. :)

oh n i learnt how to play a little tennis thanks to dor! on the second day of camp, we woke up like EARLY! n went to the really rundown with holes in the ground n weeds all over. like really sprouting ALL OVER n played tennis! its so tiring.... n the food in batam is great! but i esp love the cakes there, esp the last day! surabaya cake n blackforest! like whatever.....
n the spa. is so cheap n worth while. indonesia massage for an hr! mamamia! heavenly..... ooh try parasailing, where u get to soar like a bird up in the sky! view things really literally from a bird's eye view :) n cable skiing which nearly yanked my arms off... really.. u get yanked arnd by clinging on for ur dear life onto a rope which runs arnd a cable. slackens round a bend, and then.. poof! ur off again! arms ached for days after. regret not goin go-karting though.. sigh n shopping. haha but water sports over shopping? anytime :)

its mostly been hanging out/ meeting/ catching up with ppl since ive been back! i know its tough to prioritise.. but im trying! like try to wake up earlier? but the weather's been so so SO nice to slp recently! ugh.

oh! n i saw sly in holland V tcc! some fliming thing.. on tuesday! smriti is so sneaky. haha she wanted to be on camera. but its quite fun any o how. and i miss talking to smrit cos she can really rationalise n understand me! always interesting to know her point of view :)

lets see.. its almost one... and the wk is ending! grrrr.. i did say i wanna bake this holiday n make use of the eggs i have at home.. maybe i'll bake for my daddy when he gets back. speaking of which.. chuin! and Addy! happy HAPPY belated birthdays! chuin's bday had krispy kreme's n fullerton choc cake! need i say more. sigh her mum's cooking rocks! n addy's bday had cach's cheesecake! which is really really yummy! cach i wanna receipe! if u ever see this.. give me! haha and her mum's so funny! told her that there was a surprise party! heh after all of us waited for SO long for her to get back to surprise her. in the end?? heh. but it was still really fun! getting to see all the ex-ny ppl :)

n i caught up with suzy too over the weekend. shopping? hanging out at her hse? and early morning jog! so proud of myself that i managed to haul my ass out of bed at the chime of the irritating phone alarm. to the sound of 'always look on the bright side of life'. ugh.. had to change the tune! its so grating in the morning :)

right. weekends coming up...... daddy's coming home!!!!!!!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeee

the wk has flown by! my goodness. getting a little panicky, why oh why. it just seemed like last fri where i went towning with tiff. rigghtt. oh yes!! but im so happy and excited that time is passing so quickly too! did i tell u! me n jess are goin on a hol to batam!! following my church grp, but yes no parents!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhh im SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. look can u see how pysche up i am abt this. :) :D. haha jet ski? swimming? jacuzzi? yes. YES! :)
anyway im at jl's hse now. jess is here too! we are staying over after dance night. which btw was great! dance dance dance! pity the performing arts place is not big enough. but oh well :) anyway so yup i have to freakin wake up early to drag my sorry ass down to the astro turf tmrw for ORA walkathon thing. but oh well, it'll be fun! tiff n hadri for company-in gd company. :) haha then im coming back to jl's hse for more fun!! better start studying. everyone arnd seems to be studying. or tchs giving us pep talks. hmmmm. it seems kinda long though. slap me. wake up clara. .... hmm i'll enjoy my life now first la huh.
my dad left :( hope to see him soon. its such a dangerous place in china now with the jap stuff. hmm. hey jas! i know ur coming back soon n im excited! haha just get tops n skirts for me la n havianas. i feel greedy. haha what do aussie ppl wear?? i cant wait for u to get back! take care too k?? i havent seen king for so long! :)) rightt im tired now.

rush rush rush this wk. why do things pile up all at the same time. im dead.
lord of the flies, catcher in the rye
just finished great gatsby, emma n handmaid's tale
totally un-inclined to do an essay on either.
baps is really concerned abt our class. are we that bad? somehow that doesn't strike as reality yet. sigh. wish time wld stretch endlessly, fast forward, then drag.
luckily mum's been fetching me back more often now. gee really worried for her. she's freaking working too hard and not eating enough. irritatingly, she herself doesn't wanna eat more. even if i gladly offer my share to her.
press play- good job! it was so fun! esp in the control room. no wonder ppl want to be technicians. so cool! i always thought it was a boring job. albeit dangerous too. embarassin moments in there though. but with exceptions, the bands were good! kevin's voice--------------------- need i say more. SO GOOD.
missed sevens though n hadri's bday!! ugh, my weekends are like work days. i feel like a horse.
sunny weathers with chills.
-i said do u wanna be my girl-
choc anyone???  

anyway the song home is by buble! its wonderful!!! :)))

days are getting more slack. like now. gp got released like 20 mins earlier n we are in the com lab. somehow everything seems just the calm before the storm. oh n the j1s are goin mad with campaigning! never seen the canteen decorated with so much vast colours before. its like flags all over the place. but wth, its so much better than just white n green. :)
congrats to cross! double champ! woohoo! :)
press play on friday! birthday party, rugby sevens......... okay.. been meaning to study, but im always falling aslp! grrrr

song of my life.

home

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I¡¯ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I¡¯m fine baby, how are you

Well I would send them but I know that it¡¯s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I¡¯m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I¡¯ve got to go home

Let me go home
I¡¯m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I¡¯m living someone else¡¯s life
It¡¯s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I¡¯m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know¡­

Let me go home
I¡¯ve had my run
Baby, I¡¯m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It¡¯ll all be alright

l be home tonight
I¡¯m coming back home

like today's weather was lovely. not typically sunny, bright blue sky, green grass, whatsnot. the sky was bland n grey, everything took on such a peaceful hue today.somehow the grey-ness made the other colours all the more vivid.the wind was refreshingly chilly. . mornin assembly got cancelled n i ended up sitting alone for a long time, reluctant to move after everyone else, staring into the scene before me. staring blankly. it was so peaceful. so calming. i felt so much better i ever did in ages. honestly time seemed to be all mine n i watched the world go by, and outsider today. after all the dust n soot from the haze the past few days, today's air was especially treasured.

lounging there, propped up, legs stretched, i felt about as moveable as a persian cat. just suddenly, i felt the need to talk to God. one minute i was appreciating everything arnd me, to wanting, to actually talk to someone. who best to understand me than him. it sounds vacous now.. im not a holy religious person but i dont know what came over me today. it made me realised what a mess i actually made out of my own life. wanting to turn back time, n feeling so sorry that i destroyed his creation. strangely, no horrible after tastes of ruminating in one's guilt. amazingly a felt liberated, as though i got everything off my chest n finally humbly admitting that i was wrong. i thought i could but i cant. its hard. i tried. believe me. i know God knows, somehow he made me realise that it;s not enough.. i say it, trying in words in heart, not in action. my stubborness n perseverence failed me just this once. crucially i must add
irony. i truly believed that i wld be able to contol my emotions. God made me realise. no. i cant do this myself.selectiveness. selecting only certain areas that i wanna commit to God. it isn't fair. no matter what, i still want a measure of control over my own actions. proven to be a failure. dear God... what am i going to do now? im unwilling to give up either way.a bitter struggle i have to take onto myself.i brought on myself.
through it all. ur love for me still, i felt this morning actually. be it the blessed wind, the air, the bird that landed near me, the ppl milling about. it was actually a present moving tangible thing enveloping me. a caress. light n free.. yes thats what it was free... simply free.i'll give anything in the world to be truly free.. that light floaty feeling..
just thought i'll share my morning experience,. my personal conversation n relationship with God. just that day i was thinking.. what exactly is love? so many different forms.. types. how wld u know for sure what u are feeling.. do i love God? can i truly say that.. or is that just a rhetorical statement that i say cos i believe in him thus i'm supp to.all i can say is that i'm sure God loves me. i wouldn't be here today if not..my struggle, i asked for help, i didn't accept it.. no. its cos of my own nature.. i dint want to, i dont want to.. why.... the worst feeling ever, knowing but yet rejecting it.. fine its my fault. blaming o one but i cant just cant get out of it... its me me me me.. why... i'm falling faster than shooting stars.. the high arc.. the trail down. im following that.. unfortunatly i know, but im still clinging on to the star, unwilling to let go.. has it reached a pt where only i can help muself.
musing all this today. unexpectedly moved.. God;s letting me live in my wretched state.. why.he cares. i feel that i've let it all down.

the day did get better anyway.. i wasnt all that melancholic the whole day, the morning actually cheered me up. i knew for sure that i was never alone. never was n never will be..
decided that i wanted a duke. randomness in mind... tiff came up with the idea that when a duke marries a viscountess or smthing their children will be discounts. laugh.

many free periods due to many tchs down sick or smthing.. mon wasnt such a bad day today after all.. it was blue. but i like the blue.

have i mentioned that common tests are like over?? no! im just back! haha but they are over. n im so happy!!!!!
hpwever, i cant think of anything to update cos ive forgotten off habd what happened.. hmm
jas! im so sorry! like this is one of the few forms we communicate now! n u know what, i miss u! i want you come back! i just thought of u when flipping through my mind for a friend who will watch crappy movies with me, with feet propped over the front set n a big tub of caramel popcorn. irrelevant but yes!!! sigh. come home soon....................
and i finally watched hitch. with my mum! one of those few nights where our relationship was good. haha i love eva mendes! she's so hot! haha latinos are in general actly. :) and will smith as usual was so funny! the show stopper...... was mr.. i forgot his name, the well covered be-spectacled guy! he's so funny n his dancing is wild! haha i cried at hitch though.. why? cos its sad n touching. what he said kinda made a lot of sense. yet. its hilarious! nice balance!
and where's tiff that woman.. haha come back! i miss ur nonsense too! n puss is so funny! was just reading all the random quotes n that pic!!! haha
oh okay, im laughing a lot tonight. just so happy that tests are over!!
love catching up with all my lovely funny friends! my dear girlfriends from sec sch.. sista there's just u left!! n all mine over the yrs, in jc. haha i just realised that im close to like...... all girls. andrew like just disappeared over the face of the earth. haha but ya, pick off from where we left off eh dude? that's the wonder of our friendship.:)
and jess is so retardedly funny. hello woman, u just announced to the whole world abt me. not like no one hears u know?? ppls walk arnd with their ears open all the time.
and wedding date is so nice!! so like the book 'best friends'. new actors//actresses.haha girls night out with von, ther mich or the bbc, whatever. that was ther's idea. haha still kenny's was good! n muddy mud pies.. hmm too bad we start sch the nxt day! grrrrrrrrrrr.......
so ive got 2 of my results back. not that bad la, considering i hardly study. n im not a silent mugger so, notbad la huh.. im trying to convince my mum here. haha she thinks its a shame. oh well. :)
n my mortal sam is so nice. he's been treating me n a feel guilty. haha i'll treat u back soon la okay
anyway though easter;s over. HAPPY EASTER!

haha roaring day! to all who have gotten their results back, whether for better or for worse, it has happened! dont think abt it too mucho if ur sad, if ur satisfied and happy, good job! God has a purpose for everything :)
anyway i finally found one pic pf me and my short hair. its not very flattering. haha


with my granny specs.
and tiff's hands peeking out there! can u see!! haha so sneeky.

anyway, jas: yes i'll make time for u da. haha call soon!! how's melbourne?
weineng: see! one pic! i dont have any of chingay except in my phone!
tiff: see ur hands :) sitting nxt to u in class is so fun haha

anyway i need to study soon. taste changing more to the timsum side.
tim promised me choc buffet! that makes 2!

i embrace the world now!! :)))

drama fest! so excited, though i dont know why.. seems like there's a million and one things to do! everyone, dont stress!
days are happier now :)) i like. i decided that there's no point worrying cos when we're all all grand ppl sitting in rocking chairs, nothing really matters anymore.
tiff rocks! ilu babe! for bringing ur precious pineapple tarts, toasted somemore, for me today! :) i did eat them all, dont worry!
sadly, had my wires changed the night before, n they're mighty painful!! so cldnt really eat them in the morning.. sigh, so regretful!
and, my braces shall come off in another say 6 mths? so speedy. :)) dont worry marns, urs will come off soon anyway! :)
this post is full of smiles. wondering why im still online! millions of stuff to do. im feelin damn unproductive.
comp was spoilt for a few days. my nice ex-tutor came over to fix it. so smart! wonder how u did it still. :))
been procrastinating running for so long. and i cut my hair!! first i went pointers, then chuin decided it was too long, so she snipped off a bit, then juelin did the layering. its brillant really. but i forgot my hair curls. so its messy unless i brush it now. cant decide whether its more cooling anyway. haha :))
okay gtg now. i wanna take time off to catch up with everyone i havent been talkin to. :))
i need more than 24 hrs!

my world :) i decided that its how u decide to livethat makes a diff. SA funfais is such a crush, so squeezy! n hot! or as leon puts it, the sch is just too small. yes. found pictures!
of the zoo!

the cow business


entrance to the ball pit. u know that ball pit with all the nice colourful AND paniful balls? i wonder really how come i never knew that they were painful when i was a kid..

sungirl: frankly my dear, i know nuts about comp stuff so i cant help u! so sorry!! my friend did this blog up for me. yups
eph: eeks.. im not la! i guess i'm not buying from anyone?? haha isnt that fair now bro. :)